Public Safety Notice

You are entering mountain lion country.

Mountain lion sightings are rare, but in passing this notice you acknowledge that you are in danger of being attacked by a 200 lb saber-toothed feline with a vicious streak a mile wide. You hereby waive all rights to sue Marin County or the National Park Ranger Service for any medical treatment that may result from your injuries, which may include, but are not limited to

• facial laceration
• disembowelment
• decapitation
• compound fractures
• flees, ticks, lice or a mild rash.

To make you feel safer on the trail, we have provided guidelines for you to follow in the event of a mountain lion attack. You acknowledge that use of these guidelines does not decrease your chances of being eaten by a lion.

1) Always travel in groups of at least two. Stay close together.

2) If there are weak, sick or elderly members of your party, put them at the rear. You can make a run for it whilst the lion eats them.

3) If confronted by a lion, do not approach. Back away slowly. Do not attempt to stroke the lion.

4) Maintain eye contact at all times. If you are wearing sunglasses, take them off now.

5) Throw rocks at the lion, make rude gestures and shout intimidating slogans such as "I'm gonna git you sucka!" or "Uzi nine millimeter!" Do not shout "Here kitty kitty!", that just makes them mad.

6) If attacked, retaliate aggressively. Make your hands into claws and stand with your head as high as possible. If your head is currently in the lion's mouth, poke it in the eye. If you have any fingers left.

7) For your safety, we have provided numerous rotten, mould-covered logs along the trail. If you feel there is a danger of a lion attack, you may wish to pick up a log, carry it for four miles through the woods, and brandish it periodically whenever you hear noises from the trees (see illustration).

Remember to enjoy your time in the woods, and have a nice day. Now, please read the adjacent notice about coyotes.